Grazed Knees
by Angel Cake XO
Summary: He was the first boy she kissed, the first boy she cared about. After not seeing each other for 8 years they'll meet again. AU RM, SS
1. Part 1

**_AN: Okay this is the first story I've ever written for The OC, but I'm not new to writing. I've written numerous short stories for my school literary magazine, but I've never done something like this. You may be confused after this post, but all will be explain later on so please be patient. If you have any questions just type them in a review and I'll answer. This is a RM story with a large amount of SS thrown in. _**

**Chapter 1**

Notice how you only will take a photo when you're having fun. Notice how if someone isn't smiling in the photo you won't frame it. The reasoning is simple. You take a picture to freeze a moment. Sometimes when you lift a photo taken years ago, you're mind is flooded with memories. Things you haven't thought about, things you may have forgotten, but when you look at the picture it brings a smile to your face and you say 'I wish I could do that again'. That's why we don't take pictures at funerals, because who want's to remember that?

Growing up in Chino, California is no fairytale. Even at the young ages of six and seven the memories a person can make will haunt them forever. The worst part is because you're so young you can't really make sense of what happens. You think that it's okay for your dad to hit you; you think that it's natural for someone to pass out because of too much alcohol. Living in a place like that you have no true role models. Where you were when you're fifteen is the same place you'll be in ten years.

Maybe it wasn't true for everyone. Some people had potential to be better, but they just couldn't see it. They couldn't see it because they didn't have anyone to tell them.

The truth is the sooner you get out, the younger you are the better off you are. If you move to a better place the memories can fade. They'll still haunt you, but not as bad. Once you start seeing a better life, a life with role models and a life with meaning, those memories **_will_** fade because you start seeing things differently, and then you forget… or at least you try to.

--------

Marissa was fourteen when she moved, right before high school. Her mother, Julie, could see the affect living in Chino had on Marissa more and more each day. This wasn't the life she wanted her child to have; she wanted her to have a better life, so she left. They moved to Napa Valley, California. Julie reconnected with an old high school friend, Veronica Townsend who was fortunate enough to marry into a wealthy family. Veronica agreed to allow Julie to live with her until she got back on her feet.

Marissa and Taylor, Veronica's daughter, easily became best friends and were inseparable, despite the fact that they were total opposites. When school started one month later Marissa became good friends with Summer Roberts, a petite brunette who shared the same interest a Marissa. The only difference was the Summer was a little more outspoken. By graduation, the three girls promised to be 'best friend forever'. Four years later after college, that's what they were. Summer and Marissa were both getting an apartment together in San Francisco, while Taylor was living in Paris.

One of Julie's fears was that Chino would have permanent imprint on her life, but that didn't happen. Marissa in fact took her childhood experiences to help her choose a major in college. Marissa graduated from Colombia University two weeks ago with a degree in Child Psychology. She said she wants to be able to help kids deal with memories that haunted them, and help them understand that despite the pain they feel as children, that there is something worth living for.

--------

Marissa smiled as she watched her mother hang up her framed diploma.

"I can't believe you're actually hanging that up in the living room," Marissa said sitting down on the sofa.

"Oh, shut up. You have not idea how happy I am for you." Julie sighed and sat down next to her. "You know I didn't have the opportunity to go to college."

"I know, but now with me moving in a couple of weeks, you can maybe go back for your undergraduate degree. I saw the pamphlets in you room," Marissa pointed out.

"It was just an idea I was thinking about," Julie said. "I've still got my photography."

"You don't seriously want to take pictures of food, and family portraits forever do you? Mom you could take more classes and even open up a gallery, like you've always wanted to."

"Why are you so concerned about me any way?"

"Because you've never once done something for yourself. You deserve this."

"How did you know that I wanted to open a gallery?"

"Because I read it in your yearbook. Just promise me you'll think about."

"Okay, I promise." Julie sighed, "So what do you want to do for dinner? Because I was thinking of Chinese take out and we could start looking through your stuff in the attic, see what you want to take with you."

"Mom that's stuff is in the attic for a reason. I have no reason or desire to keep it."

"Hey, you never know what's up there, old stuffed animal, dance trophies. Come on it'll be fun. Besides if you have no desire to keep it, we could just through everything away."

"Okay, order the usual," Marissa relented.

---

Forty-five minutes later, Julie and Marissa were in the attic. They placed blankets and pillows on the floor to make things more comfortable. There were two boxes, labeled 'Marissa--- Blast from the Past'.

Marissa looked at the boxes skeptically, "Blast from the Past?"

"Yeah, you don't like it?" Julie asked.

"You could of just wrote like 'elementary school'," Marissa pointed out.

"I like it, so you'll do one and I'll do the other. Deal?" Marissa nodded.

An hour and half later, they were just finishing up. Every time Marissa would take something out of the box, Julie would reminisce and tell this long story of Marissa as a kid. Marissa had a lot of fun looking through the boxes. Although Marissa thought she's end up throwing everything a way, she kept a lot. Like old middle school yearbooks, two porcelain dolls, that seriously need to be dusted and her old stuffed dog, that she got when she was five. She didn't remember who gave it to her, but she knew it wasn't her mom.

"Oh my God," Marissa gasped as she picked up her all time favorite bedtime story _"I Love You Forever"._ "Do you remember this book," Marissa said holding it up. "I remember dad used to read it to me."

Julie half smiled as she took the book from Marissa. "You remember that?"

"Briefly," Marissa shrugged. "I mean I don't really remember him, just the book. I mean who could forget this book. I used to cry," Marissa sighed taking it back.

"You were always really sensitive, still are." Julie mused.

Marissa smiled and put the book down and reached back into the box, picking up a wooden pick and purple box that had her name written on it. "You got that in second grade." Julie said "Secret Santa. I think his name was…"

"Ryan?" Marissa answered as she opened the box.

"He was such a sweet boy. You had the biggest crush on him," Julie remembered.

"I did not," Marissa said defensive.

"Oh yes you did. You two were so cute. I remember I caught the two of you in the closet almost kissing when you were like six. And then I overheard you talking about him to Theresa."

"Mom okay I had a crush on him, let's change the topic now."

Julie laughed as reached into the cardboard box and pulled out Marissa's old retainer. "Don't see a point in keeping this," Julie said tossing it into the garbage.

Marissa was still looking at the box. Glued to the inside of the top was a picture of her and a little boy who had blond hair and blue eyes that matched her own. Marissa frowned as she noticed that the little boy had a bruise on his eye. In the box was a small keychain and a piece of loose leaf. Curious Marissa unfolded the paper and read what it said.

_**Do you like me?**_

_**Yes**_

_**No**_

_**Maybe**_

The yes was checked off. Marissa smiled, remembering that day. They were in school and Theresa was convinced Ryan liked Marissa, and insisted that they write him a note and put in his desk during recess. After school that day Ryan gave the note back to Marissa and kissed her on the cheek. Marissa frowned as she remembered her childhood friend. They promised that they'd keep in touch, but it never happened. Seeing this now made her wonder, what had happened to him? Living Chino wasn't the easiest life. She and Ryan were always there for each other. When his dad got arrested, the first time her dad hit her. He took care of her the first time she got drunk at a party when they were thirteen and she was there for him when he got jumped in the park. He was the first boy she kissed, the first person she really cared about. Even though she was only fourteen when she left, she could tell he was different then the other guys in Chino. She hoped the he was able to get out as well, and he was living the life he deserved.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Julie asked as she looked up to see Marissa frowning.

"Hmm, oh uh nothing," Marissa said hastily as she was broken out of her trance. "I'm just tired, can we finish this tomorrow."

"Yeah, of course," Julie smiled, patting Marissa's back. "Do you need help carrying this stuff downstairs?"

"No, I got." Marissa smiled.

Marissa looked back at the photo one more time and sighed. She never talked about some of the things she saw while living in Chino. She knew her mom was always concerned that she would be someone mentally unstable because of them, so she never voiced them. But looking at the photo and the note, it brought back old feelings.

--------

"Coop, can you believe it. We are actually moving into our first real apartment. Our first home without parents. Out of this crappy, boring town and into like a real city. With real people. We finally have our first real jobs, where we actually get paid like a salary." Summer Roberts rambled to her best friend. It was Monday evening and they were moving into there apartment in four days. "The only downside it that we don't have parents to by us our clothes," She said kind of disappointed. "But…" She said quickly, "then again they can't tell us we can't buy something. God I'm soooo excited. Coop?" Summer said turning to face her friend who was staring off into space. "Hello, are you even listening to a word I'm saying?"

Broken out of her trance, "What I'm sorry, Sum. I just zoned off I guess."

"Yeah, I can tell. What's going on?" Summer asked concerned. "You've been kind off this past week."

"It's nothing, really. _I'm fine," _Marissa emphasized when Summer gave her an 'I don't believe you look'.

Summer rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say Coop. But sooner or later _you're_ _going to have_ to talk about it."

"So what were you saying before?" Marissa said wanting to quickly change to the subject.

"I was just saying how excited I am that we're getting our own apartment. I already have a floor plan figure out."

"The joy's of having a roommate who's an interior designer... I'm excited too," Marissa added as an afterthought.

"Now that's the spirit," Summer clapped. The two sat in silence for a little while, both just watching the television. "Hey, Coop. Do you believe in destiny?"

"What?" Marissa asked confused at Summer's question.

"You know, like providence, serendipity, fate…"

"I know what destiny means Summer. That's just a weird question coming from you."

"Why is that weird coming to me?" Summer asked a little offended.

"Well when we saw the movie 'Serendipity' weren't you the one who said it was a whole bunch of bull, and stuff like that didn't happen in real life." Marissa pointed out.

"Okay, so you have a point it's just…" Summer started, but stopped not sure how to voice what she wanted to say.

"Continue," Marissa said motioning with her hands.

"Well you remember that guy I told you about? The one I met in providence?"

"Seth?" Marissa asked. Summer nodded. "What about him."

"We still talk, you know. And I told him about how we were getting an apartment in San Francisco. Well he's works in San Francisco, so…"

"You're beginning to rethink you ideas on destiny," Marissa surmised.

Summer shrugged, "Basically, yeah. He's like the total opposite of the guys I used to hang out with in high school. I was surprised that I actually agreed to go out with him. But I don't know Coop," Summer shrugged again, "there's something about him."

"Are you falling in loooove with him?" Marissa asked jokingly.

Summer shoved her playfully, "Shut up."

"I think its sweet, Sum."

"But should I go out with him again, call him when we get there?"

"Definitely," Marissa said nodding her head.

"Really?" Summer said shocked.

"Why pass up the opportunity. Then you'll always wonder what if? You know, what if I just called him, what if I kept in touch, what if…"

"Coop, are we still talking about me here?" Summer asked as she noticed that her friend seemed to be talking to herself.

"What are you talking about?" Marissa asked confused, "Who else would I be talking about?"

"I don't, you just were all… never mind," Summer said when she saw Marissa was looking at her like she was crazy.

So maybe Marissa was in a way talking about herself. She was giving Summer advice based on her past experience. Summer was the only person Marissa really talks to about her past life in Chino. She told her pretty much everything; of course there were some things Marissa didn't talk about because she herself just wanted to forget.

**AN#2- Like I said I'm kind of nervous about this chapter, so please review. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Also I didn't really proof read this chapter, so if there are any grammatical errors, I'm sorry. **


	2. Part 2

**AN: This chapter you meet Seth and Ryan. Ryan's past story is the pretty much the same as the show, except instead of entering the Cohen's house during his sophomore year I made it his junior year-- this way it was a little bit longer between when Marissa moved and when Ryan moved. You will also learn more about Ryan and Marissa's past friendship in flashbacks (maybe) throughout the story. You'll learn about there past relationships, most likely in the next chapter. Also, in the story everyone except Summer is 22, on the show her birthday is in August, so I thought I would keep it the same here. It takes place the summer after there college graduation. **

**Chapter Two**

People are constantly asked what is one thing that they regret doing, and everyone has different answers. Some people can easily pin point exactly one thing that they've done wrong, something that they'd like to change. Others can't seem to pick, they claim that they have many regrets in there lives. You here young children saying that they regret that they didn't study for there test when they receive a bad grade, but those regrets don't count when it really matters-- well not unless you fail a grade and can't graduate. But even if that's the case you can benefit from the experience, even though in the beginning it… well it sucks.

That's what happened to Ryan Atwood. In August 2001, almost six years ago if someone where to ask Ryan what he regretted the most he would have to say letting his older brother bully him into stealing a car. After all it caused him to get arrested and kicked out. But now if someone were to ask the same question that wouldn't be the answer. Because of that he was able to meet Sandy Cohen, his attorney and the man who adopted him and gave him a new chance at life. Ryan was able to start over, so like Marissa he was fortunate enough to find away out.

--------

"I can't believe you guys are actually moving out," Kirsten Cohen said somewhat sadly a Sunday morning as the entire Cohen crew was seated in the kitchen.

"Feels like yesterday we were taking Ryan in," Sandy said rubbing Kirsten's back.

"Mom, please save the tears to we actually leave. Ryan here hasn't even finished packing yet," Seth said.

"Yeah, and you haven't even started," Ryan pointed out.

"Seth, you've had all this free time and you haven't even started packing yet. You leave in two days," Kirsten scolded.

"Diploma from Brown University and still I get yelled at," Seth said rolling his eyes and left the kitchen to start packing.

"So, Ryan how much do you have left to do?" Sandy asked.

"Oh, just some old things, that I'll probably end up throwing away," Ryan answered. "I'm going to get that done now, so…"

"Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to see if Seth needs help," Kirsten said.

"Diploma from Brown and still he needs his mother to pack his stuff," Sandy said laughing.

---

Ryan entered the pool house and made his way to the dresser. He had one draw left to empty. Ryan never really owned many things. Even when he moved into the Cohen's he didn't want to rely on them for everything. Sure they bought him the necessities and in Newport that did include owning at least one Armani tux, but other than that he didn't want anything else. Ryan just guessed it was because he went sixteen years without any luxurious things.

Ryan began to empty the contents in the drawer, which were just mostly clothes, and put them into his suitcase. Ryan reached to the bottom of the draw and pulled out "The Great Gatsby", the only book he read in while in Chino-- well attempted to read. He decided to take the book with him, maybe he'd find the time to read it.

As Ryan tossed the book in his open suitcase something fell out of the pages. Groaning to himself Ryan went to pick it up. It was photograph of him and Marissa. It was taken at there eight grade semi-formal. He remembered that they were considered 'boyfriend/ girlfriend' at the start of sixth grade. He punched some kid named Eric that summer because he was bothering Marissa, so everyone thought that he meant that they were dating, and all though he would never admit it he like the idea of having her as his girlfriend.

Then of course right before high school she left, just like everyone else in his life-- of course that didn't stop him from wondering what ever happened to her.

"So Ryan, my friend…" Seth said entering the pool house and hour later.

"Seth, there is no way you finished packing."

"I know, just taking a break. You know checking in with you…"

"What do you want?" Ryan asked agitated.

"That's and interesting question," Seth said tapping his chin as he sat down. "First of all what is that you're looking at?" He asked pointing to the photo's in Ryan's hands.

"They're nothing," Ryan said tossing them back into the bag.

"They're obviously something because if they were nothing that would mean they didn't exist, so like I said obviously there something. And I'm going to safely assume from the shape that they are photos, so what are they photo's of?"

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Seth if you came in here just to bug me then please leave."

"Okay fine, don't tell me. So the real reason why I came in here today was to talk about Summer."

"Who?" Ryan asked bewildered.

"You know Summer, we dated for while in Rhode Island. You met her, short, brown hair."

"Yeah, I remember, but I thought you said the two of you decided to end things after graduation."

"We did, but we still talk and she's getting an apartment in the same area that we are. She called earlier and she was hoping to hang out."

"Okay, what's the problem then?" Ryan questioned.

Seth shrugged, "It's just she… in high school she was the popular girl, the beauty queen and in high school I was the comic book geek."

"Dude that was high school," Ryan said, "you're way past high school."

"It's still intimidating."

"She asked you to hang out, so she obviously doesn't care that you were a complete looser in high school."

"That's true… Did I mention that she has a roommate?"

Ryan rolled his eyes, "You've mentioned that and the answer is no I will not go on a blind date with Summer's roommate."

"But you haven't even…" Seth started but stopped after receiving a death glare from Ryan. "Oh and whatever you were looking at, I'll figure it out."

--------

It's strange, isn't it? How two different people, who used to be best friends, who haven't spoken to each other in eight years, on the same day where both thinking the same thing. Two people who've gone there separate ways are finding there way back to each other without even knowing it.


	3. Part 3

**An: you learn a little bit R/M past relationships in this chapter, but not in detail-- those will follow. **

**Chapter 3**

"I don't understand why you're so opposed to the idea," Summer said to Marissa. It has been exactly one month since they started there 'adult lives', according to Summer.

"Because blind dates _never_ end well, so why waste the time," Marissa answered simply.

"It won't be a waste of time, you might actually fall for him."

"Or I'll just end up have a miserably boring time."

"Fine new question, why are you sooo opposed to the idea of having a boyfriend?"

"I'm not opposed to the idea; I just _don't_ want a boyfriend right _now_. Someday I will, someday in the _far_ future. Right now my main concern is work."

"You can have a job and a boyfriend at the same time. I do."

"Look Summer no offense but my mom didn't get the opportunity to go to college she ended up knocked up forcing her to get married and for the first 13 years of my life she depended solely on my father, I don't want to be like her. I want to be independent before I find a guy."

"Just because you go out on a date with someone doesn't mean you're going to marry them," Summer pointed out.

"I know, just… can we just drop it."

"Okay, fine. But for the record he's Seth's roommates so the chances that he's living a whole different life are really slim," Summer pointed out referring to Marissa's last relationship.

"That's _not_ what I was thinking about," Marissa said defensively, because you're always defensive when the other person is right.

"Whatever you say Coop."

--------

"Seth, how many times do I have to tell you? No I won't go on a blind date with Summer's roommate," Ryan said clearly frustrated.

"And why not?" Seth asked.

"Because every time I've ever time I let someone into my life they always end up leaving, especially the women." Ryan pointed out.

"Ryan, its one date. It doesn't mean you have to tell her your whole life story. You just talk about simple things like where you work, where you went to school… first date stuff. Oh right you don't do that so…"

"She's also you're girlfriends roommate," Ryan said cutting Seth off.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"From what you're telling me things with you and Summer are pretty serious so imagine how awkward things will be when things between me and her roommate don't work out."

"Who said they weren't going to work out?"

"It's a blind date Seth. They _never_ work out."

"If you go with that mentality then it won't work, but if you go with the mentality that there's a possibility that a real relationship could form from this, then it might very well work out," Seth pointed out wisely.

"The answer is still no," Ryan said bluntly and went to his bedroom in the apartment.

The truth Ryan didn't want to go on the blind date, or any date for that matter in fears the he might actual feel something for the girl. He can count all the people that haven't let him down or haven't left him in his life on one hand. Sandy. Kirsten. Seth. That was it. Everyone else, they left. And sure if his mom didn't leave he wouldn't be where he was, but a part of him wished that she kept in touch, at least _tried_ to get sober. But it didn't happen.

Getting into a serious committed relationship is just an easy way in setting your heart up for pain. That's the motto that _both_ Ryan and Marissa lived by.

--------

On your first day to work the last thing you want is to be late. But being too early, in Ryan's opinion, made it seem like you're trying to hard. Therefore on his first day of work he was showed up at the office building an hour and half earlier, parked his car and decided to wait it out. He must have walked around the corner 15 times and was beginning to fear that someone may have called the cops on him. He knew he probably seemed like some psycho stalker, but those were the last of his worries.

He exited the coffee shop across the street, surprised no one said anything to him and made his way back to the front of the building. Still he had fifteen minutes to spare and decided to take one more walk around the block.

Once he made it to the other street he was broken out of his nervous state when he heard someone talking.

"First day of work?" The girl asked.

Startled Ryan looked at her. She was tall, just about his height. She had golden brown, blonde hair with light blond highlights. She was tan and had crystal blue eyes. That's what threw him off, her eyes. There was something familiar about them.

"How'd you guess?" He asked.

"You've must have walked past here about 20 times."

"Sixteen," He corrected.

She smiled, "Plus I was acting the same way you were about 2 day's ago."

"I'm assuming you just graduated," Ryan asked and she nodded. He didn't want to play the 'do I know you from somewhere' lame pickup line. Even though he was convinced he'd seen her before. So instead… "Where are you from?"

"Napa Valley," She answered simply. "You?"

"Newport… Orange County."

"Judging from you attire, you're defiantly upper class." Ryan smiled and nodded. "Look I got to get to work, so…"

"Oh, yeah me too."

"Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great. Besides being a five minutes early isn't that horrible, however five minutes late, well that's a different story." She smiled and began walking in the opposite direction.

"By the way I'm Ryan," He called out to her.

"You mean you're name is Ryan," She said before continuing walking.

As she disappeared from his sight, Ryan looked back one more time. He definitely met her before. On some conscious level Ryan was almost sure that she was Marissa Cooper, his childhood friend. But he pushed down that thought, why? He wasn't even sure.

--

Marissa also looked back once she was sure he couldn't see her anymore. She had a feeling that he was Ryan Atwood, her childhood friend. His looked the same, just more mature. And once he said his name was Ryan, she was positive that he was the same boy she wrote that note to all those years ago. So why didn't she say anything, why didn't she tell him her name.

Again, unaware both people were that they were thinking the same things.

**An: Yes I got the last "You mean you name is Ryan" from One Tree Hill. I love that line so I had to use it. Anyway please review. I know everyone says that reviews motivate them, but for the record it really does motivate me, even if it's only three words. Also I'm taking anonymous** **reviews now. **


	4. Part 4

**AN: Okay so don't expect this again _every, _but tommorow is my semi-formal and then Saturday I'm in a talen show, so I might not be able to post for a while. I noticed how the past four chapters took place in a 6 week time period, but I had to do that in order to get the story started. This chapter kind of set's up the rest of the story. I'm not sure if I like this chapter, but I had to post. Don't forget to review, it takes like 6 seconds. **

**Chapter 4**

Marissa wouldn't consider herself a promiscuous woman. She rarely would go to a bar to find a guy for sex, but when you haven't been in a relationship with someone in a while and you haven't had sex in while; sometimes having a one- night stand isn't so horrible. Beside you can't control what your body feels. And right know Marissa was horny as hell.

"So you never told me your name," Ryan said sitting down next to Marissa at one of the local bars. It had been two weeks from there last encounter.

Startled Marissa looked over to the guy sitting next to her. She smiled, "My name is Marissa. Did you make a complete fool of yourself on your first day?"

"Surprisingly no I didn't." Marissa laughed. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Yeah," Marissa nodded.

Ryan smiled. "What do you want?"

"I'll just have a beer." Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Girls do drink beer, you know."

"I know you just didn't strike me as the type."

"I'm usually not, but it's a new city. The only thing bars in Napa Valley sell is wine and really bad cocktails." Ryan laughed. "So, what exactly are you trying to get out of tonight?" She questioned. "A phone number, one- night stand…" Marisa continued when Ryan gave her a blank look. "I can't imagine you came here to have a drink by yourself."

"What would you say if I said I saw you entering and wanted to talk to you again?"

Marissa looked shocked by his forwardness, but smiled none the less. "I would say that I'd have to call the police. You could be some crazy staler who wants to kill me. After all you did walk pasted by apartment sixteen times a few weeks ago."

Ryan began to laugh. "Okay, so what are you doing here? I can't imagine you wanting to drink alone, either."

"I came here to get a free beer, and now that I got it," Marissa said just as the bartender gave her a drink, "there's no point in staying."

"That's how it is, you get a guy to buy you a drink and then you leave him hanging."

Marissa shrugged, "Maybe."

At this point both Ryan was convinced that this woman was Marissa Cooper, his old time friend, but why ruin the moment by bringing up the past? At this point Marissa was surprised that she -**at the moment**- forgot that this man could be Ryan Atwood her old time friend.

"You want to get out of here?" Ryan asked.

Marissa nodded, "However my apartment is currently be used."

"Mine's fine…" Ryan said automatically.

The next thing Marissa remembered was waking up to the unfamiliar surroundings of Ryan's apartment. She silently cursed herself for allowing this to happen. She looked over at his sleeping figure and then at the clock. 3:54 AM, it read. Slowly Marissa got up, found her clothes, dressed and then exited the apartment.

Whatever you do don't look back, that's how all her one-night stand ended. So why did she look back this time?

Ryan woke up 3 hours later, to an empty bed. Somewhat relieved that Marissa wasn't still in the apartment and part of him, a larger part of him wished she was. He wanted to talk to her, find out if she was really the person he once knew.

But would it make a difference, she left and didn't leave a number so obviously she didn't expect anything more to happen.

--------

"You're going to meet Seth's parents?" Marissa asked Summer the next afternoon.

"Yeah, apparently there are parties in Newport like every week and his parent's want him to come down to visit." Summer answered. "What, you think it's a bad idea." She asked when she saw the look on Marissa's face.

"What, no. It's you and Seth, this relationship it's moving kind of fast."

"I know its weird isn't it. Things getting this intense so quickly, but I don't know Coop, you can't really control how you feel," Summer shrugged.

"Yeah, I don't really know what you mean, but you're happy so I can't complain."

"I am happy," Summer smiled giddily.

"So when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow, and um you're coming with," Summer said quickly as she made her way to her room.

"What?" Marissa screamed getting up from the sofa and following her. "You want me to come to a Newport party with you and your boyfriend to meet his parents?"

"Come on Coop, It'll be fun. We can go to the party and make fun of all the rich fake botox people," Summer coaxed.

"I'm not coming with you. I wasn't even invited."

"Yeah, you were. Seth said that you could come. He's driving so we don't have to worry about that, and…"

"Give me one reason why I would even consider coming?" Marissa question cutting Summer off.

"I've never done this before, you know the whole meet you're boyfriend's parents."

"So what? You want me to be there with you?"

"Ah, yeah I kinda do. Marissa, you're my best friend. I need you're support right now."

"Who said I wasn't supporting you. It's just… wait a minute... you aren't still trying to set me up with Seth's roommate, whose name I don't even know," Marissa asked as realization dawned over her.

"What, no that's ridiculous. He probably has to work this weekend. I know you don't considering you work in a school so you're coming, end of discussion," Summer said walking past Marissa. "Oh and by the way, who the hell did you sex with last night?" Wanting avoid another one of Marissa's protest.

Marissa's began choking, "What are you talking about?" She asked oblivious.

"Don't play that game with me," Summer said. "You came in at like four in the morning, sporting some serious sex hair."

"No one you know." Marissa answered simply.

"Obviously, but that still does not answer my question. Who?"

"He's just some guy," Marissa shrugged dismissively.

"Again, obvious. But what is his name?"

"Ryan," Marissa said, but quickly changed the subject. "Look I told Karen I would come to the school later today so she can teach me more stuff or whatever, but we'll talk later about tomorrow. See ya later." She said and grabbed her purse and left.

--

"So I was thinking that we could leave for Newport at around 3 tomorrow, grab dinner on the road and be there by 9:30." Seth said explaining his plan for tomorrow.

"And that's without traffic, Seth why can't we just fly?"

"Because flying is no fun," Seth answered. "And I thought you were afraid of heights?"

"Yeah, but I'm also afraid of the idea of spending 6 and half hours in a car with you."

"And Summer," Seth added, deciding it was best to leave out that Marissa might be coming.

"Have you told your parents yet?"

"Yes I did and they are very thrilled and excited to meet Summer. They expect us to be in Newport tomorrow night."

Ryan sighed, not finding the energy to argue with Seth, "I am so not looking forward to this."

"Oh and for future notice if you're going to be having ladies in this apartment make sure when they leave, they take all of there belongings." Seth said pointing to Marissa's white camisole that was on the floor.

Ryan groaned and picked it up throwing it into his room. "Thanks for the tip."

"Thanks for the tip, that's all you're going to say." Seth asked. "I don't even to get to hear what her name was, where you meet her, what she looks like, if you're going to see her again, even the most vague details of what happened."

"No, you don't," Ryan said harshly.

"Oh I see how it is, just a one night stand. I'm going to assume that she left before you had the chance to see her again. Definitely snuck out during the early hours of the day, otherwise she wouldn't have forgotten her clothes."

"Seth, please shut up. I don't have time for this."

"So I'm right. You always get annoyed with me when I'm right."

--------

"I can't believe you actually convinced me to come today," Marissa groaned as the two waited for Seth to pick them up. It was Friday at around 3:00.

"I can't believe I convinced you either. I really, really, really appreciate this Coop. And I promise I'll make it up to you." Summer said, "God I'm so nervous. Why am I so nervous?"

"It's a huge step, Sum. Meeting your boyfriend's parents. You'll be fine."

Summer breathed in, "Your right, Seth's parents seem really nice. I mean they did adopt Seth's roommate, after he stole a car…"

"What?"

"I shouldn't have told you that, you can't say anything," Summer said panicking.

"I won't, don't worry. Um, what's his name?"

"Whose?"

"Seth's roommate. You haven't told me his name."

"Oh, yeah it's…" Summer started, but was cut off when the doorbell rang. "That's him. Can you get it, please?"

Marissa rolled her eyes and got up to open the door. Seth was standing in the doorway.

"You must be the famous Marissa Cooper." He said smiling and put out his hand.

"And you must be the famous Seth Cohen," Marissa smiled back and shook Seth's hand.

"Hey, Seth." Summer said giving him a kiss.

"Hi. So are you guys ready to go? Ryan's waiting in the car."

"Ryan is Seth's roommate," Summer explained.

"I thought you said he wasn't coming," Marissa whispered harshly.

Summer shrugged, "Well I guess I was wrong. Come one it'll be fun."

"Yeah, fun." Marissa attempted to smile as she began to piece together parts of an extremely strange puzzle.

There was absolutely no way that the Ryan she had sex with last night, the Ryan she met two weeks ago is the same person Seth is living with. The same person she would be spending the weekend with. And there is no way that this Ryan is the Ryan Atwood that she used to live next to.


	5. Part 5

**Chapter 5**

Ever notice how whenever you're having a really, really good time everything seems be happening twice as fast. You think it's only been a hour when it's really time to go. Like at prom you enter the room at seven and then when you look at you're watch it's 10:40, only 20 minutes left until you have to leave. But when you're extremely bored everything seems to be happening twice as slow. Like when you're in the waiting room- whether it's the hospital waiting room or you're waiting for your turn to audition for the play.

Another time when one minutes seems like an hour is when you are in an extremely awkward situation and you don't have another person on hand to lighten the mood.

--------

Marissa has never felt this nervous in her life. She had so many different emotions and thought's going through her mind it was overwhelming. Sure she's been nervous before, like when she received her college acceptance letter, and college graduation, but it wasn't the same feeling. It was different.

But you know what they say when you have a one-night stand, it's bound to catch up with you. She should have just waited for him to wake up… or left a note… or… _Stop it. _She silently berated herself. _What's done is done, and you can't change the past. _

"So, Marissa this is Ryan, Ryan this is Marissa, Summer's roommate." Seth said introducing them. Sure enough it was the same Ryan she slept with last night.

He was leaning against the car, and when he saw her he looked equally as shocked. He cleared his throat, "Um, Hi." He said holding out his hand.

Marissa half smiled, "Hi."

"Okay, so let's get the show on the road," Summer said smiling.

"Ryan can you help me with their bags," Seth asked.

Ryan nodded and made his way to the trunk of the car. "You never told me that her roommate was coming," He whispered sharply.

"But you're happy she is," Seth said smirking, "Hot, huh?"

"Seth," Ryan said warningly.

Holding up his hands, "Fine, fine. But you're going to be spending the weekend with her so don't be a jerk."

---

"He's hot, isn't he?" Summer said, and Marissa rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you don't like what you see."

"Are you even that nervous about meeting Seth's parents or is this whole thing a set up?" Marissa questioned.

"I am nervous, like really nervous and I would have made you come," Summer answered honestly, "but, when I found out Ryan was coming I tried extra, extra hard to convince you. That's why I didn't give up."

"Great…" Marissa said rolling her eyes.

"Marissa," Summer scolded, "don't be rude, because you're going to be spending the whole weekend with him?"

Ryan and Seth made their way to the car doors and entered the car. Marissa smiled weakly as Ryan sat down in next to her.

"So I hope you like Death Cab, because with Seth driving that's all we're going to be listening to." Ryan said to Marissa.

"That's right buddy," Seth said.

"As long as there are no uncomfortable, awkward silences I don't care what we listen to," Marissa answered looking at Ryan.

"With the way Seth talks, I really don't think that there are going to be any of those," Ryan answered.

---

And sure enough an hour and half later Seth and Summer were still talking. Things didn't seem to be awkward at all, but for the two people sitting in the back seat the tension was unbearable.

Every so often to two would sneak glances at each other, trying to figure out what the other person was thinking.

Marissa was completely embarrassed. She knew that if she just stayed at Ryan's apartment things would have been less awkward. They would have been able to talk about what had happened. Of course she wasn't aware that she would be spending the next weekend with him.

Ryan felt like a jack ass. Marissa probably thought he was just another lame guy at a bar looking for women to hook up with. And maybe that's what he was doing that night, but that's what she was doing that night as well- she was the one who left the next morning.

And the worst part was that both Seth and Summer were completely oblivious to what was going on.

"Okay, we're going to stop to get food," Seth said. "Do you have any preferences?"

Both Ryan and Marissa shook there heads.

"Well then we're getting Wendy's, because it's the closest and it's by the gas station." Seth said.

"Cohen and I'll get the food, cause we both know what you like and you guys can pump the gas or whatever," Summer said as Seth pulled into the gas station.

All four exited the car and Seth and Summer walked over to Wendy's. Ryan went to pump the gas and Marissa awkwardly stood by the car.

A few long uncomfortable minutes stretched as Ryan pumped the gas. Neither person knew what to say.

"I'm sorry I left," Marissa finally spoke up. Ryan looked at her. "I usually don't do that sort of thing," She shrugged helplessly.

"I do," Ryan answered simply.

Marissa drew back surprised at his boldness. "Okay as if this wasn't awkward enough."

"But I wanted you to stay," He finished. Marissa looked up shocked. He shrugged, "There was something about you."

"Are we interrupting anything?" Summer questioned as she looked back and forth between the two. Ryan looked embarrassed, and Marissa looked shocked.

"Uh, no." Marissa answered, "That was quick."

"Yeah, short line," Seth answered.

---

He wanted her to stay. That's all Marissa could think about. She really tried to listen to what Summer was saying and tried to participate in the conversation, but it was hard. In a way she was annoyed that there was a short line in Wendy's, she wanted to hear what else Ryan had to say. But another part of her was relieved because now, she was able to think about how she was feeling, formulate a respond.

What was she going to say? How was she feeling? What was she thinking? Marissa had no idea. She was never a believer in fairytales and happily ever after. Reading romance novels and watching romantic movies made her want to gag. Sure she watched them with Summer considering they were her favorite. But it was hard for Marissa, to believe that things like that actually existed, considering her parents relationships.

Ryan was being driven crazy. He was going to be stuck in a car with Marissa for four more hours and then be spending the weekend with her and he had no idea what she was thinking. She didn't get the chance to respond and not knowing what she was thinking was in a way scary and intimidating. 'Why did I even tell her?' Ryan kept asking himself over and over. He was never open with his feelings. He hadn't been in a serious relationship with a girl since high school. He didn't want to be in a serious relationship. That's why he kept refusing to go on the blind date. So why did he want something more with Marissa?

"Right Coop," Marissa was suddenly broken out of her trance when she heard Summer say her name.

"What?" She asked startled.

Summer rolled her eyes, "Jeez, have you've not heard a word I've said?"

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just tired."

Summer shook her head, "I was just telling Cohen about how we used talk about how cool it would be if you're mom and my dad got married. Considering your mom was the mom I never had and my dad was more of a father figure than you're dad was."

Marissa smiled. It was true. When ever Summer needed 'girl advice' she'd come to Julie. And when ever Marissa needed 'fatherly advice' she'd go to Neil. Julie took Summer to the mother/daughter events and school and Neil took Marissa to the father/daughter events.

"My dad even said he'd walk Marissa down the aisle and dance with her when she got married."

"And my mom promised that she'd fulfill all the mother roles in you're wedding," Marissa added.

"How long have you guy's been friends?" Ryan asked.

"Since she moved to Napa Valley," Summer answered. "First day of high school, I was here buddy. I had to show her around the school, which was pretty lame considering I didn't even know my way around. Coop, remember how we were late to like all of our classes."

"Yeah," Marissa smiled.

"So is uh, Coop you're last name?" Ryan asked Marissa. "Because you said Summer uses last names."

"No, it's… Cooper," Marissa answered hesitantly.

"So why do you call her Coop?" Seth asked.

"Because in middle school there was this kid Cooper who I used to sit next to and he used to pick his nose. So I couldn't call me new best friend Cooper. Every time I would I'd just think of that kid." Summer answered. "Beside Cooper's a first name. Coop isn't, I sounds cooler."

At that's when Ryan Atwood was convinced that this was the same Marissa Cooper the he was friends with.

**AN: I was kind of nervous about posting this chapter. I'm not sure if I like it all that much. So please review and tell me what you think. **


	6. Part 6

**AN: I was kind of lazy and didn't feel like writing this huge meet and greet scene so it's really short and may be crappy but it's pretty obvious what happens during those, so I don't see the need to write it. **

**Chapter 6**

Ryan Atwood had no idea what to do. He pieced together another piece of the puzzle he was currently in. In the past 24 hours he had a one night stand, but wanted it to be more, revealed that to the girl who happened to be his best friend's girlfriend's best friend. Who also was his old best friend, his ex-girlfriend- but you'd hardly consider them that because they began 'dating' in the sixth grade.

He knew the second he saw Marissa in the streets that day that she was familiar. Her eyes were the same. All of her other features changed but her eyes. Now that he thought about it her personality was the same, her laugh, her smile…

How did he feel about this? What was he going to do about? That was Ryan's main concern. Does he play if off, pretend he doesn't know hoping she won't figure it out. But, no he wants her to know. He has so many questions he wants to ask her. But how? How does he even bring it up? Ryan had absolutely no idea.

--------

"Just breath and relax," Marissa told Summer as the four got out of the car. It was 11:30 and they just arrived at the Cohen's.

"Seth are you sure you're parents know we're coming?" Summer asked. "Because I don't want them to think we're trying to case the house and call the cops on us."

"Don't worry they know. Once I told them I was bringing you home they made sure we came tonight rather than tomorrow," Seth answered kissing her cheek.

"Boys," Kirsten screamed as she ran out the door. She saw them pull into the driveway and just couldn't wait for them to ring the doorbell.

"Hey mom," Seth smiled and hugged her.

"Kirsten," Ryan said doing the same.

"Mom, this is Summer. My girlfriend," Seth said introducing Summer.

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen. It's so nice to meet you," Summer smiled nervously.

"Please call me Kirsten. I'm not that old. And who is this?" She questioned referring to Marissa.

"Oh, this is my best friend Marissa Cooper. She came with us. Seth said it was alright."

"Right of course it is come on in. Sandy is so eager to meet you. Girls you can stay in the guest room, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," Both girls nodded.

--------

Marissa and Summer laid in the guest bedroom bed. After being introduced to Sandy Cohen, Kirsten showed them the guest bedroom, which was already set up. They quickly changed into their pajamas and got into the bed.

"Seth's parents seem nice," Marissa commented.

"Yeah," Summer whispered, "That's what everyone always says, though. What if they really don't like me and just pretending they do?"

"Summer I'm sure that's not true, just wait until tomorrow."

"Okay… Coop," Summer said after a moment of silence.

"Hmm…"

"What were you and Ryan talking about when we went to get the food? Because after that things seemed kind of awkward."

"Uh, he's just…"

"The guy you hooked up with," Summer finished. Marissa nodded. "I figured as much, I just didn't want to say anything."

"He said he didn't want me to leave."

"Aww, that' sweet."

"Yeah, it's sweet, but I don't know what to do, or what to say."

"I say you go out with him."

"I knew you were going to say that."

"He's a really nice guy, he's not some stuck up rich boy. He really worked hard to get where he is. At the architecture company he works at, he's one of the youngest people to intern there."

"There's something else," Marissa started.

"What?"

"I- we used to be friends, I mean I think."

"What do you mean you think?" Summer asked laughing.

"In Chino. Marissa answered "When I met him he looked familiar, and then you said that he Cohen's took him in," Marissa shrugged.

"Well why don't you talk to him about it?"

"What am I supposed to say, hey did you used to live in Chino because I think you're the same boy who I almost lost my virginity to."

"Wait a minute, almost lost your virginity? Coop you were thirteen," Summer said sitting up.

"That's exactly why it didn't happen, but that's' not the point. I'm not sure if it's the same person and I don't want to embarrass myself even more."

"Well if he is the same boy then he would know your last name. I said you last name was Cooper so then he'll say something," Summer said confidently. "Don't worry about, it'll all work out."

--------

The next morning Marissa tried her hardest to procrastinate going downstairs. She spent the entire night thinking of what to say to Ryan, but honestly hadn't come up with anything. And Summer's advice on waiting things out wasn't really going to work for her because if she were just to sit back and wait she would go crazy.

So that morning Marissa took an extra long time in the shower, picking out her clothes, and doing her hair, she even made the bed and attempted to clean the bathroom. And then at exactly 11:02 she went downstairs.

"It's about time you came down," Summer sighed dramatically. She, Seth, Sandy and Kirsten were already awake.

Marissa shrugged and sat down on one of the island chairs next to Summer.

"Did you sleep well?" Kirsten asked. Marissa nodded.

"We have bagels for breakfast," Seth said.

"That's all we ever have for breakfast," Kirsten added. "Sandy's the king at bagel smearing."

"That's right!"

"Bagel smearing," Both Marissa and Summer laughed at the same time.

"Yes, Bagel smearing. I'll show ya," Sandy said. "Which flavored bagel would you prefer?"

"Whole Wheat," Summer answered.

"Poppy."

"Alrighty then, is plain cream cheese okay?" After receiving nods from Marissa and Summer, Sandy began explaining to them the 'art of smearing'. Fifteen minutes later Ryan entered the kitchen.

"Man, you just missed it," Seth said. "Dad here taught Marissa and Summer how to smear."

"Ah, that's all we ever eat in the Cohen house," Ryan smiled taking the seat next to Marissa after much hesitation.

"Do you mind passing me a plain bagel?" He asked her.

"Yeah," Marissa answered. "Here," She said handing Ryan the bagel.

Ryan wanted to make things as comfortable as possible for him and Marissa. Besides he didn't want anyone picking up on the tension between them. They'd talk about what happened later, when no one was around. That's the conclusion he came to last night.

"So here's the deal," Kirsten said. "I have to go to the yacht club to help set up for the party. We'll leave here at 7 o'clock so please be ready."

"How formal is this tonight?" Summer asked.

"It's a black tie event," Kirsten revealed, "but the women usually just wear cocktail dresses because of the weather. If you don't have a dress there are to malls you could go to."

"Oh no, we're should be fine. Right," Summer answered.

Marissa nodded, "Yeah."

"Great, so I'll see you guys later. And until then have fun go have some fun."

---

The four decided to just stay in the house and hang out by the pool. Summer and Seth were already outside. Marissa entered the living room and began looking at the photos on the mantel above the fireplace. There was Sandy and Kirsten's wedding picture, a picture of Seth and Ryan on there graduation. Marissa stopped at the next picture and examined it.

It was a Christmas picture… well a Chrismukkah picture. That's what it said. And looking at the picture Marissa was 110 percent positive that this was Ryan Atwood. Because that photo was taken a while ago when he was still young and she recognized him.

Ryan entered the living room and saw Marissa looking at the photo and he knew that she knew. "Marissa…" He said hesitantly.

She closed her eyes and turned to face him; she took a deep breath in and looked him straight in the eye.

"What happened?"


	7. Part 7

**Chapter 7**

"_What happened?"_

Do you know the feeling you get when get the chance to see someone you haven't seen in a long time? When you're at the airport awaiting the return of someone you love. You feel like you have a million butterflies in her stomach and they won't stop moving. You wait at the gates and the shortest minute feels like an eternity. You see the person exit the gate and run towards you, forgetting everyone else who's there.

Of course that's only one scenario. There are many others, but the feeling, it stays the same. It doesn't change. The only difference is that the longer it's been since you've last seen the person the feeling in your stomach grows stronger as each day passes.

When Marissa turned around to face Ryan she looked into the eyes of the nervous eleven year old boy who asked her to be his girlfriend. And then she looked into the eyes of the sad thirteen year old boy the day she told him she was leaving. As she looked into his eyes she realized he was far from the boy she used to know. And that also meant that she was far from the girl he used to know.

"Let's talk," Ryan said motioning to the stairs.

--------

"_So everyone think's you're my girlfriend," Ryan said to Marissa nervously._

"_Well everyone thinks you're my boyfriend," Marissa stated back._

"_Well do you want to?"_

"_Do I want to what?" She asked confused._

"_Be my girlfriend?"_

"_Yeah," Marissa smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "So now what?"_

"_Now I think we have to kiss…_

----

"_Ryan," Marissa squealed as her friend Ryan tickled her on the sofa. "Stop it you know how ticklish I am. Besides I have something to tell you," She managed to say while in a fit of laughs. _

"_Okay, okay fine," Ryan said and sat up on the sofa. "What's up?" He questioned._

_Marissa sat up and looked at him. "My parents are getting a divorce," She said after a moment's hesitation. _

"_Oh, Marissa I'm sorry," Ryan said. _

_Marissa shrugged, "That's okay they sucked together and you knew that. But there's something else. My mom reconnected with her old high school friend Veronica and she agreed to let us move in… She lives in Napa Valley."_

"_Oh," Ryan said shocked. "That's like 7 hours away."_

"_I know, but it doesn't mean we won't keep in touch," Marissa said. "I'll call, I promise…"_

--------

"What the hell is taking Ryan and Marissa so long?" Seth thought out loud as he and Summer sat by the pool.

Summer shrugged, "Leave them alone they're probably talking."

"What do you know that I don't?" Seth said eyeing Summer suspiciously.

She sighed, "Marissa thinks that Ryan is one of her old friends from when she used to live in Chino. But she's not completely sure yet and she doesn't want to embarrass herself. She thinks she going crazy."

"Marissa used to live in Chino?"

Summer nodded. "Yeah, she moved the summer before high school. Why?"

"Because Ryan's from Chino so I really don't think that she's going crazy," Seth answered.

"What?" Summer said shocked, "Ryan's from Chino." Seth nodded. "Destiny," Summer whispered to herself.

---

"When did you realize it was me?" Marissa asked Ryan.

They were both sitting on the stairs in the Cohen house. He finished answering her question. He told her how he ended up at the Cohen's, not leaving out one detail of that summer. And she listened, not once interrupting because she wanted to know.

"When Summer said you last name was Cooper," Ryan answered. "I was kind of suspicious when she said you're mom's name was Julie and that you moved right before freshmen year. It all fit together, but when I found out what you're last name was there was no way I was going to be able to avoid talking to you the whole weekend."

"On some conscious level I knew who you were the day I saw you on the street, but I kept pushing the idea away," Marissa told him.

"Why?" Ryan asked confused and shocked by her revelation.

"I don't know. It's just I try real hard not to remember what while living in Chino, but every so often I just remember or I'll have a nightmare."

"I know the feeling, trust me." Neither person knew what to say from there.

"You said you were going to call," Ryan said to Marissa after a long silence stretched. "One day you were there and then the next you weren't."

Marissa looked down, "Yeah I know and I'm sorry that I didn't."

"Why didn't you? It's not like you didn't have my number."

Marissa shrugged, "I guess the selfish, stubborn part of me took over. It's just me and you we used to dream about getting out of Chino all the time. We'd talk about and come up with plans. I finally had my chance to get out and when I got to Napa Valley and I saw how different the life was I didn't call because I didn't want to go back. I just wanted to forget Chino ever existed. And I was able to… well not completely, but still," She shrugged again. "Honestly Ryan when you moved here, when the Cohen's decided to adopt you was the first thing the popped into you head was 'oh let me call Theresa and let her know'?" Marissa asked.

Ryan smiled faintly and shook his head, "You have a point."

"Who would have thought back then that we'd be where we are now? Summer told me how you work for that company…" Ryan smiled "You always liked building things. I remember in sixth grade when we had to draw our dream house for math class used proportions you did mine for me because you wanted to and it was fun."

"And you always wanted to help people," Ryan remembered. "What do you do?"

"I have a degree in Child Psychology," Marissa answered. "I work alongside someone at the school nearby so when they retire I'll get the job."

"When you moved were you afraid to fall asleep?" Ryan asked.

Marissa looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

Ryan shrugged, "I don't know, like if you closed your eyes when you opened them again you'd be back in Chino. Like you dreamt the whole thing."

She nodded, "Yeah, but the feeling faded."

"Sometime, even know I think I'm dreaming."

"Well I can assure you that you're not. Look around you Ryan. The Cohen's, Seth these people are real and you're lucky to have found them."

"Yeah I am."

Looking him straight in the eye Marissa said, "I'm really glad you had the opportunity to leave Chino. You were always different then the other guys there, even when we were little I could tell."

"Thanks, that means a lot," Ryan said sincerely.

"So you'll never believe what I found," Marissa said trying to lighten the mood.

"What?"

"My mom and I were packing up my things when I found that jewelry box you made me."

"You kept that?" Ryan asked surprised.

"I kept everything. Looking back on it now I don't know why I did, I ended up throwing it all away. But inside that box I found that note I gave you in the second grade."

"The 'do you like me note'?" Ryan asked.

"Mmm hmm," Marissa nodded and laughed. "I can't believe I actually did that. We were sooooo lame as kids."

"Hey, I liked that note," Ryan protested. "You were the first girl to admit that she had a crush on me."

"And you were the first boy to admit that you liked me. I remember how nervous I was after I slipped the note into you desk. I was afraid you weren't going to like me."

"Do you think that if you didn't move and that if I didn't end up here we'd be together?"

Marissa looked at Ryan shocked. "I- ah…" She stuttered.

"It's just because even though I know who you really are. It doesn't change what I said last night at the gas station and…"

"I'm glad we both left Chino," Marissa said cutting Ryan off. "Because honestly if we stayed there we would end up together, getting married because that's as good as things were going to get for us. We'd grow up living this miserable life; married to the first person we dated and just are extremely unhappy."

"Where does this leave then?" Ryan asked.

"Friends," Marissa answered. "I think it's best if we just start of as friends and…" she shrugged, "if we become more than that, then we'll deal with it then."

"Okay, friends." Ryan agreed.

--------

"So this is a Newport party?" Marissa said as she looked around the yacht club and took in her surroundings.

It was later that evening and the party was in full swing. Ryan and Marissa were seated at the table while Summer talked to Kirsten and Seth talked to his grandfather.

"Yup, each one had a different theme, but they're all the same," Ryan answered. "The same fake people get drunk, and gossiping."

Marissa rose her eyebrows, "I thought you said you loved living here."

"I do, it's a strange place they call the ice cream Balboa bars and instead of car washes they have auto-spas, dogs have day care, Fashion Island has valet parking"

"What?"

"I told you it's a strange place. But not everyone's like that you know. There are real people. You just have to find them. Besides it's really beautiful. I don't mind coming back. It's the first place I could call home."

"Looks like you did a lot better then me and my mom did. We live in this tiny little cottage three bedroom home, but it's still home."

"How is you're mom?"

"I finally convinced her to go back for her college degree. But before that she was a photographer. I wasn't her dream job, but it paid the bills."

"It's cool that she had the strength to leave."

"I didn't even know she had it. My dad was abusive and she just stayed. I thought we were going to be stuck forever, but she proved me wrongs. She proved all of us wrong."

"Even though I haven't seen your mom in eight years I can honestly say that she really loves you."

"I know," Marissa smiled. "What about your mom?" She asked hesitantly, "Have you talked to her since…"

"She left me here six years ago, no." Ryan answered. "In a way I'm happy that she left me hear because then I wouldn't have had a second chance, but I still wished she kept in touch. You're the only person I've been able to tell that," Ryan said after a moment of silence.

"It's probably because I understand how you're feeling. I mean in away we lived the same life."


	8. Part 8

**AN: Okay here's the next chapter. Ryan and Marissa talk about there past relationships. Also I'm going to try to add more SS, but it's really hard for me to write them together. Plus I'm a hard core RM fan. I'd like to bring Taylor into the story, but I don't know how so if you have any ideas just let me know. This chapter was supposed to be broken into two, but they would have been too short, so this chapter has A LOT going on. Also again sorry if there are an grammatical errors. I was _way_ no lazy to proof read the chapter. **

**Chapter 8**

"So are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Ryan?" Summer question Marissa a few days later. It was 7:00 and they were eating Sushi.

"How many times do I have to tell you that there is nothing to tell?" Marissa sighed dramatically. "We're _just_ friends."

Summer eyed Marissa suspiciously, "All great love affairs start out as 'just friends'. It's only a matter of time before you confess you're undying love for each other," She joked.

"Great love affairs and undying love only exist in fairytales. And fairytales are called fairytales because they don't happen in the real world."

"Love does exist in the real world, Marissa." Summer said after all these years she was still trying to figure out why her friend couldn't be a happily ever after person or why she found it so hard to believe the things like true love did exist.

"Are you in love?" Marissa asked Summer.

Summer looked over and Marissa and closed her eyes, "Yes," she said quietly, yet confidently and sincerely. "And one day, you'll be too."

But Marissa doubted it.

---

"You and Marissa?" Seth questioned Ryan. "Are you two a thing?"

"No, we're friends. Nothing more," Ryan emphasized.

"Really," Seth rose his eyebrow suspiciously. "Are you sure because it's not what it looked like this weekend. You guys stayed in the corner of the party talking the whole time."

Ryan rolled his eyes, "Yes Seth I'm sure that there is nothing going on between me and Marissa."

"Cause I'm well aware of you're past relationship while the two of you were living in Chino. Summer filled me in"

"Speaking of, how is Summer?" Ryan asked changing the subject.

"Well, now that you ask things with Summer are great, they're really great in fact. I'm in love with her."

Ryan rose his eyebrows, "Really, did you tell her?"

Seth shook his head, "Not yet"

--------

"So I have to be honest Cohen. I haven't done anything like this before?" Summer said. They were walking home from the restaurant around the corner from Summer's house. Because it was only the beginning of October it was a little chilly it was still cool enough to walk home at night.

"Never done what before?" Seth asked confused.

Summer took a breath in, "I haven't… I've never been in a serious, fully committed relationship before. I mean I've had boyfriends, but nothing like this and it's kind of scary because. I'm falling in love with you. Okay that's a lie I'm already in love with you and…"

Summer was cut off by Seth's lips crashing onto hers. Pulling back Seth placed his hands on the side of her face, "I love you too." He stated.

Summer smiled widely, and threw her arms around Seth's neck and kissed him deeply. Never in a million years did she think that she would fall for a guy like Seth Cohen, but she did and she couldn't be happier.

--------

"What you don't believe me?" Ryan asked Marissa. It was the same night and they were hanging out in his and Seth's apartment.

"No I don't. I find it extremely hard to believe that a guy like you hasn't had one relationship with a woman," Marissa answered. Ryan sighed and looked down. "She broke you're heart, didn't she. That's why you won't talk about it."

Ryan sighed, "Her name was Lindsay. We started dating junior year in high school."

"And…" Marissa prompted.

"Turned out that she was Kirsten's half sister, and she left. She moved back to the Chicago with her mom. And that's it."

"Did you love her?"

"You know at the time I thought I did love her, but now looking back at it if I really did love her then wouldn't I have tried harder to make things work? I cared about her, but…" He shrugged, "that's it."

"So if you saw her let's say tomorrow you wouldn't try to reconnect with her?"

After a short pause Ryan answered, "No. I haven't been in a relationship after that, because I didn't want someone else I cared about to leave."

"That makes sense. What about Theresa? Did the two of you ever date?"

Ryan shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. We dated on and off until I left. We went to dances together, but it wasn't anything near or approaching love. I love her as a friend. Always will, nothing more."

"Can't say I feel that way about anyone I dated."

"Who did you date?"

"In high school I dated this one guy, Derek. He was a grade older than me so when he graduated we decided to go on break or whatever. And then in the course of the next school year we had like fifteen 'closures', until my graduation when we decided it was time to move on." Marissa answered.

"Did you love him?"

Marissa nodded, "Yeah I did, but…" She shrugged, "people change and sometimes you just have to accept that."

"Is that it? No more boyfriends."

"Well there was this one guy I started dating my junior year in college. His name was Matt. He was twenty- two, well that's how old he said he was."

"What do you mean?" Ryan asked curiously.

"One day I called him and his 5 year old son answered the phone."

"What?" Ryan asked laughing. "Did not see that one coming."

"It's not funny," Marissa protested unhappily as Ryan continued to laugh. "Hey, cut it out."

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. How long were you two dating?"

Marissa shrugged, "It was only four months, but I still really liked him. I haven't been in a relationship with a guy since. It's just hard to trust people after something like that."

"Well I can assure you that I'm not married with kids," Ryan said.

Marissa laughed, "Well that's just so reassuring," she said sarcastically. "And I promise I won't move to another city over night."

Although at the moment both people were just kidding around. They did in a way feel reassured. They both believed each other. They both believed that if in the future they decided to develop a romantic relationship, then they would make it work. And that brought a new kind of peace to both people.

--------

Two weekends after the weekend with the Cohen's things were going well for Seth, Summer, Ryan and Marissa. Seth and Summer seemed to spend every possible minute with each other. In the past two weeks there relationship grew at a fast going pace. Because Ryan and Marissa's offices were so closed they continued to hang out, as friends. Something they continually had to remind Seth and Summer of.

"We should do something this weekend," Summer announced to Seth. It was the mid afternoon and they were eating lunch together. "Like the four of us. We should go on a mini road trip."

"As fun as that sounds we do have work," Seth pointed out.

Summer groaned, "I know, I know. I just haven't fully gotten used to the idea of not being able to take a mini vacation with my friends on the weekends. I have to plan ahead and I'm not so good at that."

Seth laughed, "It's something you should look into, though. We can pick a weekend we're all free. This weekend wouldn't have worked anyway."

"Why?"

"Cause one of my friends from school is coming to visit. Luke Ward."

"I didn't know you had friends in high school Cohen," Summer joked.

"I didn't, not until Ryan showed up that is."

"Do I get to meet Luke?" Summer asked wanting to know everything about Seth's past.

"If you want, but I should warn you. He can be quiet an ass."

"Don't worry about it Cohen. I used to deal with jerks all the time in high school. I can totally handle it."

"I know you can," Seth smiled and kissed her sweetly.

---

"Hey can you help me? I'm kind of lost," Luke asked Marissa. They were in the coffee shop on the corner of her street. She was just leaving to get back to work.

"That vaguely sounds like a lame pick up line," Marissa said eyeing the stranger.

Luke laughed, "Okay, that's true. But I really am lost. I'm visiting some friends from high school, so could please at least point me in the right direction."

"Where are you looking to go?" She asked.

"Umm, here…" Luke said giving her a piece of paper with an address written on it.

"That's on the other side of town," Marissa explained looking at the address. "How the hell did you end up here?"

"Taxi…" He answered.

"You said you were visiting," Luke nodded. "Where's your stuff because I can't imagine you'll be walking around naked for the next couple of days."

"I already dropped my stuff off at there apartment…"

"Okay, look I don't' have the time for this. You obviously have the address so grab a taxi and give it to the driver," Marissa said frustrated.

"I'm seriously telling you the truth. I'm looking for Ryan Atwood he's an architect down here."

Marissa rose an eyebrow, "You're a friend of Ryan's."

"Yeah, you know him?"

"My best friend is dating his roommate."

"Seth, good for him. So can you tell me where he works?"

"It's across the street, two building's down," Marissa answered.

"Thanks," Luke smiled. "Oh and maybe while I'm here I can find a way to repay you for _all_ of your help," He smirked.

Marissa scoffed, "I wasn't that much of a help." She answered. "And you are seriously going to have to get some new lines."

---

"Luke, man what are you doing here?" Ryan asked as he saw Luke walk down the hall.

Luke shrugged and answered, "I got bumped to an earlier flight so I thought I'd stop by. Plus I just heard that Seth's got himself a new girlfriend."

"Yeah, yeah Summer she lives around the corner from here actually."

"Yeah, well I met her roommate in the coffee shop."

"Marissa?"

"I guess, I didn't exactly get her name. But is Seth really dating her room mate, because no offense, but we both know how Seth get's around girls."

"Well that was in high school, he's grown up… in some ways. You'll probably meet her. They spend pretty much every minute with each other."

"And Marissa, because she's hot?"

"She single," Ryan answered, silently laughing.

"Do you think I have a shot?" Luke asked.

"I don't know. She's really not the type to have a one night stand."

"Who said that's what I wanted. Maybe I want a relationship."

Ryan raised his eyebrows, not believing it. "Really, you want a relationship with a girl?"

"Not really," Luke laughed, "but, hey you never know."

"Yeah, you never know," Ryan whispered more to himself than anyone.

---

Marissa was sitting in the living room of the apartment later that evening going over her notes. Summer was of course at Seth's. She was probably meeting Luke so Marissa couldn't wait to ask her how that went. She had just gotten off the phone with her mother. Marissa missed her mom and she knew her mom missed her, but the constant phone calls were getting annoying. Marissa really wanted her mom to become more used to the idea of living on her own.

Marissa was broken out of her thoughts when she heard her cell phone ring. She frowned slightly to herself when she didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Marissa, right?" The voice asked.

"Yes, may I ask whose calling?"

"This is Luke, we met earlier at the café. I'm Ryan's friend."

Marissa smiled, "Yeah I remember. How'd you get my number?"

"I snagged it from Ryan's cell phone," Luke answered. "Do you want to do something tomorrow night?" He asked. "Because I did say I was going to repay you for you're help," he added teasingly.

"You did say that, I didn't I say that you needed to get new lines?" Marissa teased back.

"Look, let me put it simply for you. I'm a not strings attached kind of guy. And no vacation is complete with out going out with a girl like you."

"A girl like me…"

"Mmm Hmm."

"Really."

"Yeah."

"I thought you said you were visiting friends."

"Visiting, vacation. They're the same thing."

"So basically you want me to sleep with you so when you go back to where ever you came from you can tell all of you're other friends of the blond chick that you screwed over the weekend." Silence followed. "I've got to tell you Luke, I hate being used as a sexual favor, so I think I'm going to have to pass."

-------

"So, you're friend Luke…" Marissa started talking. It was the following Monday and she and Ryan were at the dinner together. Ryan started laughing. "He's quiet the character. I don't think I've met someone who so… sexually… I don't know how to put, but I think you know what I'm talking about."

"Yes I do. I take it he talked to you," Ryan answered.

"Yeah, he did. I was a… interesting conversation."

"What did Summer say when she got home?"

"I…" Marissa paused. "Honestly I don't think she noticed. She was probably too caught up with Seth," She laughed slightly.

"I know what you mean. I hardly ever see Seth these days. Their relationship is moving quickly."

Marissa scoffed, "Tell me about it. Although as long as Summer's happy I can't complain."

"You too are close, huh?"

Marissa nodded, "She's my best friend. I don't know what I would do without her. She never judged me and wear I cam from."

"You've came a long way. You're not the same girl I used to know. You have the same smile, but other than that…"

"Same things apply to you. Although you have the same eyes, that's what tipped me off in the beginning. But I think that how we act now, our personalities, those features were always there," Marissa shrugged. "We just didn't have to opportunity to show them."

"I'm really glad you're here," Ryan said sincerely.

Marissa smiled widely, "I'm glad you're here too."

--------

"Daddy," Summer explained shocked when she opened the door to the apartment a week later only to find her father standing there.

"Don't I get a hug," Neil asked.

"Of course," Summer said pulling him to a tight embrace. "What are you doing here?" She questioned as she lead him into the kitchen.

"Nothing it's just that I haven't heard from my daughter in a while now, I thought why don't I surprise her."

"I'm sorry about that, but I've been really busy with work and…"

"Her new boyfriend," Marissa said coming into the kitchen. "Hi Neil," Marissa said giving him a hug.

"Marissa, how have you've been?"

"Good," Marissa nodded.

"So tell me, what is this boyfriend like?" Neil asked Marissa.

"Seth… He's has a interesting personality. Really funny, sarcastic, but hard working, well mannered. He knows what he want in life and he's not afraid to achieve it. He's a great guy, treats Summer well. Comes from a good, solid, strong family. Anything else you need to know?" Marissa asked.

"Not yet, although being that I'm here I want to meet him Summer."

"I know daddy, but remember how much I love him." She said kissing Neil on the cheek. "I have work, but you make yourself comfortable."

"That's never a good sign," Neil said as he heard the front door shut.

"What?" Marissa asked confused.

"The "remember how much I love him' line," Neil answered.

"She's just afraid you won't approve or something like that."

"If she's afraid I won't approve then there is something obviously wrong about the boy."

"He's not a boy, he's a man," Marissa pointed out. "He's a man who is madly in love with your daughter. Trust me I know. They spend a lot of time with each other and Summer is really, really happy. The happiest I've ever seen her and in my opinion," Marissa shrugged, "that's all that matters, right?"

Neil smiled, "You absolutely right, which brings me to my next question. Have you've found someone who makes you happier than you already are?"

Marissa looked down and paused for a moment contemplating her answer. Finally she looked up and answered, "Maybe…"


	9. Part 9

**AN: So I was original going to have Marissa and Luke hook up and that's why he was in the last chapter, but as I was looking at all the things I wanted to do it didn't seem to fit.**

**Chapter 9**

"Okay's here's the deal," Summer started to explain to Marissa who was sitting on the sofa, while she was pacing the living room floor. "Kirsten is pregnant, and according to Seth she's just realizing how horrible and fake Newport is. The Cohen's decided to move to Berkeley. They used to live there before and know with the baby they want to be a little bit closer the Seth and Ryan. But that's not the point," Summer said with a shake of the head. "The point is, that Sandy and Kirsten have known about the baby, and house for a while now and they just didn't tell Seth and Ryan until everything was a done deal so they are going to be moving here next Friday…"

"Okay, I don't see the problem," Marissa said as she eyed Summer wearily.

"I'm not finished," Summer said. "My dad's going to be here for the next two weeks because of his work or whatever. And know he wants to meet the Cohen's and as you can tell I'm totally freaking out about this."

"Why? You told me things with Seth and you dad went great last night."

"They did, they went really great. And it's all because of you and what you said to him while I was gone. And don't deny it because I know you said something."

"I really don't see the problem, then. You're dad like Seth. The Cohen's are great people. They'll get along fine."

"Will you with?" Summer asked hopeful. "You're great breaking awkward silences."

"I'm not going to come Summer," Marissa groaned. "And trust me there won't be any awkward silences. Besides I came with you to meet the Cohen's, I wont' be there all the time."

"I know that Coop," Summer rolled her eyes. "But look how well that weekend at the Cohen's turned out for you."

"Things with the Cohen's and you're dad are going to be fine. I'm sure he and Sandy will get along fine, too."

"You know how serious my dad can be," Summer protested.

"Look you're dad loves you and as long as you're happy he's not going to complain. He would never, I repeat never make you stop seeing Seth because he didn't like him. He knows that would only drive you further away and that's the last thing he wants." Marissa stated confidently.

"You are so right Coop. And if he doesn't like the Cohen's I'll just have you talk to him." Summer smiled and began walking away. "Do you think I'm crazy?" She asked suddenly.

"What, no I don't think you're crazy," Marissa said shocked. "Why?"

"This whole thing, do you think I'm becoming nervous over nothing. Because it's just that I really love him. And I don't want out parents tearing us apart. Cause that can happen and…"

"Summer, how many times do I have to tell that this meeting thing is going to be fine? So please stop stressing over it. Summer you really need to just breathe."

"I don't know what I would do without you, Coop." Summer said hugging her tightly.

Marissa smiled, "Back at ya."

--------

"So looks like the both of us were dragged to dinner tonight," Ryan said as he sat down next to Marissa. They were at a manor house restaurant with Seth, Summer, Kirsten, Sandy and Neil. It was two days after the Cohen's had met Neil and according to Summer everything went fine.

"Looks like it," Marissa smiled "Something is definitely going on…" Marissa was cut off when she heard her mother's voice calling her name. "Mom," Marissa explained shocked. "What are you doing here?" She asked as she hugged Julie.

"Summer called me, told me that everyone was having dinner. She didn't tell you?" Julie answered.

"No…"

"Sorry Coop. If I told you it would ruin my surprise," Summer smiled. "Julie I'm really glad you're here." Summer hugged her.

"Me too," Julie smiled. "Marissa aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Oh, yeah. Mom this is Ryan Atwood. You remember from Chino."

Julie paused for a moment and eyed Ryan searching her memory. "Oh yes. Dawn Atwood's son, how could I forget? You were such a sweet kid."

"Nice to see you, Ms…"

"Cooper, I kept the last name," Julie said picking up on Ryan's hesitation. "But call me Julie."

"Julie, how are you?" Neil asked coming up to give a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm fine. But where did Summer go. I really want to meet this boy."

"Julie," Summer beckoned on cue.

"Give me a moment." Julie smiled and walked towards Summer and Seth.

"Neil this is Ryan, he's Seth's roommate." Marissa introduced them. "Ryan this is Summer's father."

"Can everyone please sit down?" Summer said. "Because I know you all are probably wondering why we had you come here today."

"Told you something was up," Marissa whispered to Ryan as they took there seats.

"Okay, so after much debate and a lot of talking," Summer started.

"We decided to get married," Seth finished.

Silence followed, as everyone was shocked. "Oh my God..." Julie whispered.

"Did he just say what I think he said?" Marissa asked Ryan. He nodded.

"I know it seems really early and everything. But we really love each other and…" Summer started nervously. This was so not the way she pictured things to go.

"Well I think it's great," Marissa spoke up. "Summer you're my best friend and like I've said a million times I just want to see you happy."

Marissa stood up and gave Summer a hug. "Thank you," Summer whispered into her ear.

"I'm so happy for you guys," Kirsten said suddenly emotional. "I think we're just shocked. But I'm so glad that you'll be apart of the family."

"Summer, I'm really happy for," Neil smiled hugging her.

"Thank you daddy," She whispered tearfully.

"It's true what they say," Sandy spoke up. "You can't fake things like this. You either feel it or you don't and when you do feel it, don't wait too long to act on it because you might end up loosing the person forever."

And at the exact moment both Ryan and Marissa looked over at each other, both thinking the same thing.

---

"So what's going on with you and Ryan?" Julie asked her daughter later that evening. They were both sitting outside alone.

"Nothing, we're friends," Marissa answered, getting annoyed at all the time she's had to say it.

"Don't deny the obvious Marissa. You two have chemistry. I can tell. You like him- don't deny it," Julie warned. "You're my daughter, I know these things. And he likes you. Don't ask why, but I can tell."

"How," Marissa sighed.

"Having your own private conversation during dinner. Both of you sneaking glances at each other. The way you're eyes light up when you talk to him. And don't think I didn't see that glance you made toward each other after what Sandy said."

"Well we're friends, for now and if something happens."

"Marissa, you're my daughter and I love, so just take my advice. Don't throw away you shot of happiness because you're afraid of having you're heart broken. How are you ever supposed find someone if you don't take a risk?"

--------

"Can you believe it Coop?" Summer asked excitedly the next morning. "I called Taylor and she said she's coming down as soon as she can. You two are so going to be my bridesmaids. And of course you'll be the maid of honor."

"Well I do feel honored. I'm really happy for you." Marissa smiled.

"Thanks, and thanks for speaking up last night. I thought I was going to faint when no one said anything."

"They were just in shock. It's such a huge step."

"I know, that's why we're going to have a long engagement. This way we can plan everything out. And we want the wedding to be after the baby is born. Which brings us to like fall of next year. But I don't want to talk about that stuff yet." Summer groaned looking at the watch. "I hate that you don't have to work on Saturday's and I do. I'll see you later."

Marissa nodded, "Yeah."

---

Marissa sat in the living room all morning contemplating weather or not she was going to go to Ryan's. After last night she really started thinking about what Sandy said about waiting too long. Then she thought about the conversation she had with her mother and realized that her mother was right. She was so afraid of getting hurt that she never thought that she might find happiness. She was always thinking pessimistically, she thought it was about time to change that. He obviously wanted a relationship with her, he made that clear. She didn't want to rush things, but she didn't want to loose him either. Finally decided to tell him how she really felt Marissa made the phone call and left a message on his answering machine asking him to meet her at 7:00 at the coffee shop- it was the place they always would meet.

Julie had to leave early that morning, much to her dismay because of work. She really wanted to spend more time with her daughter, but they made plans to see each other in a couple of weeks.

Marissa was surprised by the knock on her door, and even more surprised to who was standing at the door when she opened it.

Standing in the doorway were two uniformed police officers.

"Um, can I help you?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, we're looking for Marissa Cooper," One police officer asked.

"I'm Marissa," She said starting to panic. So many different scenarios were running threw her mind. Was something wrong with Summer, her mom?

"May we come in; we have something to talk to you about?" The same police officer asked.

"Ah, yeah, come in," She said hastily, moving to the side. "Do you mind telling me what's going on, you names?"

"I'm Eric, and this is Jake." The officer replied referring to his colleague.

Marissa nodded, "So what's going on?"

"You're father, James Cooper…"

"What about him," Marissa asked confused.

"When was the last time you've spoken to him?"

"When I was fourteen, why what's going on?"

"I sorry to tell you this Miss Cooper, but you're father was found dead in an alley way two days ago…"

…So much for thinking optimistically…


	10. Part 10

**AN: Okay here's the next chapter of this. It took me a while to write this, as you can see considering it's been a while since I updated (in me standards, I usually update every night.) So REVIEWS would be GREATLY APPRECIATED. If you have any questions, hopefully all will be covered in the next chapter, so in order to make sure write them in your review and I'll answer you. Celeste**

**Chapter 10**

Do you know the feeling when something happens so suddenly, so unexpected? You haven't had the opportunity to prepare for it, so when it happens you don't know what to do; you're too shocked to even think straight. You can never prepare yourself for the pain you'll feel when someone dies, but when it's your grandmothers whose been in the hospital for a while, the doctors already told you the time has come, it's less of a shock. Yeah you're still going to be surprised when you realize she's not there, but it's different. It's different for someone who was so young who died in a car accident or when it's someone who hadn't seen in a long time.

_This can't be happening, this can't be happening_, Marissa kept repeating to herself. It had been an hour since the police left; she was late for her date… meet… whatever with Ryan. Summer was on her way over; she was the only person she got around to call. She was just in too much shock to think of doing anything else. They wanted her to plan the funeral; she was the only person who could. Plan a funeral, plan a funeral. That's the last thing she expected to do this next week. Everything was going fine, things we working out. Summer was engaged; her mom was back in school… and now this. She wasn't sad, she wasn't crying, she was just stunned, really stunned. She assumed she'd never hear from her father again, she thought he was in jail or homeless… he probably was homeless. But planning his funeral, she had to plan the funeral of the man who used to hit her, and her mom. How was she supposed to do that?

"Coop," Summer called rushing into the apartment with Seth at her heals. Marissa didn't move from her spot on the sofa. "Oh my gosh, are you okay." Summer said hugging her tightly. Marissa nodded slightly. "Come on, let's go talk. Cohen you can leave if you want," Summer said.

"No, it's okay. I'll stay here," Seth said.

Summer smiled gratefully, "Thank you. Come on Coop."

Meanwhile Summer shut the door to her bedroom and guided Marissa to the bed. "Do you want water?" Marissa shook her head. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Marissa shrugged and started speaking quietly , "The just showed up at the door, these police officers and I thought something happened to you or my mom, but it was my dad. I was so shocked, still am. I haven't seen him in eight years Summer, can you believe that and he's dead. I just…" She broke off and when she started talking again her voice was suddenly filled with hate, which surprised Summer "They want me to plan the funeral. They said that I'm the only family he's got. Can you believe that? The only family he's got. He's not family, I haven't seen him in eight years," She repeated. "He's not family. Not even close."

"Marissa he's you're father," Summer said shocked at her outburst.

"No, no he's not. He, he…" Marissa broke off. Of all the things she told Summer about her past she never really mentioned her father. She talked about everything else other but him.

"I can't be here right now." Marissa said, "I, I…"

"You need to just relax, okay. You're still in shock and tomorrow we'll deal with everything," Summer said.

"Deal with it tomorrow, I can't I have work tomorrow."

"No, you're going to take the day off so we can deal with everything."

"I'm not taking off from work," Marissa protested stubbornly. "I don't care what happens to him, they could throw his body in the dump for all I care. I don't want to have nothing to do with this."

"Okay, I already called your mom and talked to my dad and he'll handle it. He'll handle all the arrangements. You won't have to do a thing."

"Good, good. I… I had something to do…" She was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Cohen will get it," Summer said as she saw Marissa walk towards the door…

---

"Hey, Ryan what are you doing here?" Seth asked.

"Marissa and I had plans and she's an hour late, so I just wanted to make sure she's okay. Is she here?" Ryan asked.

"Um…" Seth started hesitantly, not sure how to tell Ryan.

"What? What's going on?" Ryan asked beginning to panic. Even though he and Marissa were only friends, and he hadn't been that long, he still really cared about her.

"She's fine. It's just her dad he died and they want her to set up the funeral and make all the arrangements." Seth explained.

"How is she?" Ryan said shocked. He knew was Jimmy was like when Marissa was younger and he knew how Marissa felt towards him, but he still was her dad and no matter what the situation, loosing someone like that- it hurts, especially when you haven't seen or heard from the person in years.

"She's with Summer right now," Seth answered. "They haven't been in there that long."

"Well how did she look, was she upset, crying, what?"

"She was just sitting on the sofa staring off into space. She wasn't crying, that's for sure. You can usually tell. She didn't have that many emotions on her face. She looked numb, mostly dazed." Seth shrugged.

"Ryan," Summer said shocked as she entered the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"I ah, Marissa and I had plans… how is she?"

Summer sighed, "I really don't know when I came in she just looked really shocked and she started telling me what happened and then in the middle of the story she started freaking out and got really upset saying how she didn't have to time to deal with this and that he's not her family and she wants nothing to do with it. She's taking a shower, but she won't talk about it. I'm not surprised though, she'll talk eventually. It's just the first night and she's still confused."

Ryan nodded, "So there's no point in us staying then?"

Summer shook her head, "Not tonight. She's won't talk, like I said. You should wait until tomorrow this way she'll be less shocked. I already contacted her mom and my dad said he'd deal with the funeral."

"Okay, tell her that I'm here," Ryan said. "Just let her know I'll listen, if she want's to talk. And um…"

"Don't worry about. I'll let her know," Summer said quietly.

"Thanks."

As she watched Seth and Ryan leave Summer realized that Ryan and Marissa had something special. Sure they were, at the moment, just friends, but there was definitely something else there. And even if there wasn't Summer knew that Ryan understood Marissa in a way that she would never be able to. Because they were there for each other during there first thirteen years of there lives. And although in the long run thirteen years doesn't seem like a lot, it is. Ryan knew things about Marissa that Summer never will. He knew Jimmy Cooper; he met him and knew what he was like. And that's why Ryan was the only person who was going to be able to help Marissa out. He could relate to her. Both his parents were screw ups and left him. He knew what she was thinking and he could help her, and that's what he was going to do.

--------

The following morning Marissa woke up the scent of coffee and pancakes. Confused Marissa crawled out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen only to find Summer at the island baking.

"Hey you're up?" Summer smiled, "I made pancakes and got you a latte."

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Marissa asked.

"I decided to stay home with my best friend."

Marissa groaned, "I appreciate it Summer, but I really am fine and I don't need this."

Summer drew back a little hurt, "I know, but you're still my best friend and I want to be here right now because if it were my dad then you would be here with me."

"Yeah, but you actually have a relationship with you dad, and you would be upset about what happened," Marissa pointed out.

"You were upset last."

"Not because he's dead, because they expect me to take care of everything when I haven't seen him in ages."

"Marissa he's still you're father. You may have not seen or heard from him in years, and he may have been a complete jack ass, and treated you and your mother poorly, but sooner or later you're going to have to deal with this and I'll be here if you want me here." Summer said steadily.

"Who else would I want with me?" Marissa asked looking up.

Summer looked Marissa straight in the eye, "Ryan. You should talk to him about this, because I think that he could help. He'll understand better than I will."

"What if I don't want to talk to anyone?"

"Marissa…"

"Just leave alone, please." Marissa sighed closing her eyes.

Summer nodded, "Okay, I'm going with my dad to deal with the wake and funeral, like I said he would. You're mom will be here in about an hour and Taylor will be here tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, I appreciate it. And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For yelling at you and for ruining your news. You should be with Seth and happy but instead you're dealing with my d… you're making funeral arrangements."

"It's okay. You're my best friend… And think about what I said, about Ryan. He told me to tell you to call if you wanted to talk about it. No pressure."

So maybe Summer was right, maybe she was upset about what happened. But she didn't want to admit that. Jimmy Cooper was no saint and Marissa tried to think about that. She really wanted to hate him. She tried to think of all the pain he caused her and her mother. She tried to think about how his alcoholism ruined there family. But, despite all the crap he pulled, there were still so many good times. Marissa was 10 when Jimmy's drinking became the problem. Before that however, Marissa _was _daddy's little girl. He took her to work with him, and read her bed time stories, every Friday they'd watch a movie as a family, he did so much for her. He really loved and adored her, Marissa knew that. And that's all Marissa could think about, she tried really hard to push those thoughts away and focus on the bad thing. It is ironic because usually when someone dies you try to only hold on to the good memories. But for Marissa Cooper, it was the opposite and she didn't want to admit it because she knew she'd get upset and cry. When someone cries other people ask questions. And she didn't want to talk about what happened or her feelings at least not yet.

---

"You're still worried about her?" Seth asked Ryan.

"Yeah, I am." Ryan answered, "Her dad, there relationship was complicated and she's probably confused and upset and maybe angry. I just want help her in any way I can."

"So do that," Seth said simply. "Be there for her when she wants you to, but don't pressure her to talk because she'll just end up getting upset. She'll call you if she want's to talk."

"She won't talk on her own," Ryan said. "She can be just like me. She'll shut down, and avoid talking about it, it will all just bottle up into one big thing."

"Stop about the worst scenario. Marissa will get through this. Summer believes she will. And you have to believe to. You can't act this way in front of her."

"I know, I know."

Ryan knew all about Jimmy. He knew everything Marissa did. The reason was because she told him. In fact, even though Ryan was unaware, he was the only person Marissa openly talked to about her father. Looking back now Marissa wasn't even sure why she trusted Ryan so much. She never really talked to anyone about her personal life in Chino. She wasn't even sure why she talked to Ryan about it. Sure his father was arrested and his mom was an alcoholic, but that's what a lot of peoples lives were like in Chino, so why was Ryan any different? Even though Marissa didn't know the answer yet it was because she was falling in love with him. And even as kids, there was something there. Undefined, considering at that age they didn't know what love was, but it was still there.

---

"Do you want to talk about it?" Julie asked Marissa attentively. It had been two hours since she arrived at the apartment. And Marissa was doing whatever she could to deter talking about what she feelings.

"Not really," Marissa answered truthfully. "Not much to talk about."

"Marissa its okay to be sad. He was your father and before we moved things were bad. He wasn't perfect, but before that you loved him, you had a relationship…"

"That was a long time ago," Marissa said cutting Julie off, "and I don't want to talk about it, about him or what happened in the past, the funeral. I don't want to talk about any of it," She paused. "When Summer called you, you didn't honestly get upset, did you?"

"Of course I did?"

"Why? You didn't even love, you just ended up pregnant."

"That's not true. Marissa I loved you father, I did. And I was upset and I did cry last night?"

"But why? He was horrible to you, to me."

Julie shook her head, "Yes we did have our rough times, but there were still so many wonderful memories that we shared. I never got the chance to say goodbye to him. Neither did you and that also made me upset because now you'll never be able to…"

"Stop it," Marissa said shutting her eyes. "Please just stop."

"Marissa," Summer said entering to room. "Julie hi, how are you?"

"I'll be fine. Is you're father here?"

"He had to work, but the wake will be tomorrow. We decided to do it in the two segments in one day instead of two nights. So it'll be from two to four and then again from six to eight. The funeral will be the next day at noon at St. John's cemetery. I know it's kind of quick but we figured it would be best to get this over with."

"It's a little sudden," Julie admitted, "but no one was prepared for this. Thank you for taking care of this," She smiled gratefully at Summer. "I'll have to thank you're father later."

"Anything for you and Coop," Summer answered. "Marissa how about we go see a movie to take your mind off things," Summer suggested. "I promise I won't interrogate you."

Marissa nodded relieved that she chose to see a movie. This way she wouldn't have to talk about anything. "That sounds great."

--------

It was 4:30 the next day. Summer, Neil, Seth, Julie and Marissa retreated back to Summer and Marissa's apartment after the first segment at the funeral home was over. The entire morning dragged on slowly. Marissa didn't leave her room. At the funeral home she spent the entire two hours of the wake sitting outside. She tried to enter the room, but she felt as if she couldn't move and when she saw the coffin she freaked. It may seem selfish, staying outside the entire time, but it was too much for Marissa to grasp. To see his face after all this years. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him, questions she one day planned on asking, but now she would never have that opportunity. How could she say goodbye to someone she hardly knew?

And now Marissa was in her room staring blankly at the wall, listening to the quiet murmurs coming from the living room and kitchen area.

"Hey, I bought you some comfort food," Ryan said as he opened the door slightly.

Marissa looked over at him shocked and in a way happy to see him, "Ryan, what are you

doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?" He asked. "You're my friend, and friends help other friends out, right?" Marissa half smiled and nodded. "Summer told me you haven't eaten, so I decided to bring you a slice of chocolate raspberry cheesecake. If I remember correctly it was your favorite dessert."

Marissa's smile widened, "Still is. I can't believe you remember my favorite dessert."

"I remember a lot more than you think," Ryan said quietly. He took the seat next to her and handed her the plate and spoon.

"If you're going to bring up my dad, please don't," Marissa whispered.

"We don't have to talk anything you don't want to talk about."

"But…" Marissa said looking at him, because there was always a but when it came to this kind of things.

Ryan laughed slightly, "I'm here for you, if you want to talk. I'll be here no matter what."

For a moment Marissa didn't know what to say. She hadn't been able to talk to anyone about what she was feeling, not even Summer. So what was it about Ryan that made her want to open up? Maybe it was because he was the only person who could really understand her or maybe it was he was the person she was mean to be with.

Marissa abruptly shook that thought out of head and shut her eyes as she felt tears starting to from at the brim.

"Hey, it's okay," Ryan said carefully as he saw a single tear roll down her cheek. He reached up to brush the tear away with his thumb.

When Marissa opened her eyes she was looking straight into Ryan's. She bit her bottom lip and leaned in to kiss him. It was soft, just a simple brush. Ryan was surprised at first, and pulled away slightly, but Marissa pulled him back in. This time she kissed him more intensely, she opened her mouth to his, moving her tongue into his mouth. Ryan reached up and placed his hand on the side of Marissa's neck, and Marissa wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck drawing her self closer to him.

Although the kiss felt so right, for both Ryan and Marissa, he knew that at the time it was wrong. She was still upset and hadn't dealt with what happened. It wasn't the right time.


End file.
